I am a "take me or leave me" kind of girl; I think I have a personality that you either love absolutely or hate absolutely-I don't know that there's any middle ground whatsoever...and I am okay with that; after thirty odd years of being like this, I'm comfortable in my skin; I'm comfortable with my faults, my quirks, my what have yous.
I am gossipy and nosy and sometimes down right rude. I'm brutally honest to a fault, I judge hard. If you lose my trust, it's hard to gain it back. Sometimes I make snap judgements that turn out to not be correct. I'm hard headed, I have a type "a" personality and it's annoying, and while I can forgive easily, I have a very hard time forgetting.
On the flip side of this though, I am fiercely loyal to those I love. I will bend over backward (and then some) to make sure people have what they need. I am (mostly) a lover, not a fighter. I like things to be peaceful, even and calm. I love to laugh and love to make other people laugh. I try to see the best in everyone whenever possible even if I don't always SAY those things out loud (which I probably should do more of to be honest)
My mom and I had a really interesting chat when I was home; she basically said that her policy on people is "if you don't like me, fine, don't like me, but move along and quit wasting both of our time" and I like that. That's going to be my new policy, if you don't like me, I don't care, but I'm not going to waste ANY more of my time on you and I'm not going to waste my breath, time, and resources TRYING to make you like me or see me for who I really am. It's time that *I* started respecting and loving myself as much as I do other people and stop spending precious time on what others think of me. So, from here on out, if ya don't like me, move on out :) And if you DO like me (there's one or two of you out there lol) it's a safe bet that I like you too :)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wordless Wednesday (has words): 2nd Grade
Today is Gabe's first day of second grade; getting on the bus this morning he was so confident and self assured. He was ready for whatever this day had to bring and prepared to do battle if need be. He's such a great little guy and it's been such a pleasure watching him grow up.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Darned if you do, darned if you don't.
I feel a rant coming on; a feminist rant actually. A damned if you do, damned if you don't rant. Yesterday an article hit the web entitled Tough Gals: Do They Still Exist. It was an article that basically said women are becoming too "girly". We're too girly because we blog about gardening, knitting, and cooking.
Yes, you read that right, WOMEN are TOO girly.
I'll let that sink in for a second...
It used to be that women were too "manly"; that we were trying too hard to be like men. The backlash over female politicians is just ONE example of women trying too hard to fit into a "man's world". Apparently women are no longer allowed to be girly, we must be tough, except that when we're tough, we're no longer girly and as EVERYONE knows (insert eye roll here) that's just not attractive.
It seems like women just can't do right by ANYONE. You're either too feminine or too masculine, you're either super mom or a horrible mom, you're either an overly devoted and submissive wife or you're the wife who has her husband's testicles in "her purse"
There is no middle ground when it comes to how we're judged; it's always got to be one extreme or the other. We fought for equality, we continue to strive to make this world a friendly place for our daughters, nieces, and sisters and every other woman out there. We don't want to be seen as the "weaker sex" (because honestly, it's not true-what man do you know can squeeze a watermelon out of a lemon hole and be up walking shortly thereafter?) Women before my generation fought so that we could be tough OR girly...or a combination of BOTH. They fought so WE didn't have to fight for these things...and yet, here we are, all these years later STILL fighting for the right to be ourselves...whether we're ball busting politicians, girly cupcake baking bloggers, or somewhere in the middle.
It seems like it's a never ending battle; as women we'll never please anyone...so we might as well please ourselves, huh? So keep on you cupcake bloggers, you kick ass front line military women, and you somewhere in the middle ladies going about your day to day business. You don't have to live up to anyone's standards and expectations than your own-that's what generations of women before us have fought for-the right to be ourselves-don't let small minded people take that away from you.
Yes, you read that right, WOMEN are TOO girly.
I'll let that sink in for a second...
It used to be that women were too "manly"; that we were trying too hard to be like men. The backlash over female politicians is just ONE example of women trying too hard to fit into a "man's world". Apparently women are no longer allowed to be girly, we must be tough, except that when we're tough, we're no longer girly and as EVERYONE knows (insert eye roll here) that's just not attractive.
It seems like women just can't do right by ANYONE. You're either too feminine or too masculine, you're either super mom or a horrible mom, you're either an overly devoted and submissive wife or you're the wife who has her husband's testicles in "her purse"
There is no middle ground when it comes to how we're judged; it's always got to be one extreme or the other. We fought for equality, we continue to strive to make this world a friendly place for our daughters, nieces, and sisters and every other woman out there. We don't want to be seen as the "weaker sex" (because honestly, it's not true-what man do you know can squeeze a watermelon out of a lemon hole and be up walking shortly thereafter?) Women before my generation fought so that we could be tough OR girly...or a combination of BOTH. They fought so WE didn't have to fight for these things...and yet, here we are, all these years later STILL fighting for the right to be ourselves...whether we're ball busting politicians, girly cupcake baking bloggers, or somewhere in the middle.
It seems like it's a never ending battle; as women we'll never please anyone...so we might as well please ourselves, huh? So keep on you cupcake bloggers, you kick ass front line military women, and you somewhere in the middle ladies going about your day to day business. You don't have to live up to anyone's standards and expectations than your own-that's what generations of women before us have fought for-the right to be ourselves-don't let small minded people take that away from you.
Friday, August 19, 2011
It's Not Fair
Gabe is in the "it's not fair" phase of his life (the first of many, I'm sure) Dr. Montessori made a point to mention (more than once, I might add) that when a child hits six or seven, they suddenly have a sense of justice, mostly pertaining to themselves, but eventually pertaining to other people and other situations as well. Once a day or so, Gabriel will tell me something isn't fair. Today it wasn't fair that he had to wear socks with his shoes, it also wasn't fair that he wasn't allowed to sit on his sister. While it's annoying to hear him whine "it's not faaaaair" twenty two thousand times a day about insignificant things, I know it's normal and he will eventually grow out it (at least for a little bit, I expect that around sixteen it will start up again, ha ha)
What I can't deal with is grown people continually lamenting about how unfair something is. We all have things in our lives that aren't particularly "fair" however, at some point you need to quit yer bitchin' as they say and DO something about it and if you chose to do nothing about whatever it is you think is so unfair, then shush your lips. Put up or shut up as they say :)
Here are a few things I've recently heard/seen/experienced people saying weren't "fair":
It's not fair that my spouse is working long hours, I never see them.
It's not fair that I have to be up all night with a new baby.
It's not fair that the neighbors have a new car and we make more money than them and don't have one.
It's not fair that I am not able to go on vacation when so-and-so was able to go.
Really people? REALLY? These things aren't fair? How about some examples of things that REALLY are not fair. It's not fair that 200 people were recently let go by our local Lowe's store with NO notice; it's not fair that a friend of mine is dealing with the reality of having a disabled son and has no real life support system to help her deal with it, it's not fair that some people have no vehicle at all and walk or bike everywhere like many people in our apartment complex do. It's not fair that young men and women are coming home in body bags because they're fighting overseas. It's not fair that small children are dying of cancer. Do you get my point?
There's a newish phrase to describe the pissing and moaning people do about trivial things; it's called "first world problems" and really, let's be realistic; if we're pissing and moaning that we can't get a NEW car or take a vacation, are we really THAT bad off? There are people right in your neighborhood who can't afford a SINGLE car let alone a new one, there are people in your neighborhood who would love a single DAY off of work but can't for fear of not having a job when they get back or losing that income.
To be fair, I'm guilty of complaining about stupid things too; I'm guilty of complaining that things aren't fair; in fact, one time I was complaining loudly to my mother about the fact that it's NOT FAIR that Gabe has a disability (and really, it's not...but bear with me here) My mom, who by the way is a cancer survivor, said "you know Chris, I used to feel that way about my cancer, I used to scream at God 'why me? why me? this isn't FAIR' and one day I just realized, 'why NOT me? SOMEONE has to make up the statistics' and yes, it sucks, but it's life and we deal with it. Yes it sucks that Gabe is disabled, however SOMEONE has to be that number and maybe you didn't plan it that way, but it is what it is and now you deal with it"
And that's kind of been my motto since that day. No it's not fair, but why NOT me? In all reality, our lives are GOOD. Even if we can't buy a second car right now; even if we can't go to the Dells for Labor Day, even if I do NOT see Geo much because of 60 hour work weeks. How can I, in good conscience, complain about these things when there are so many people who are so much worse off?
Geo's grandparents have a quote they shared with us that they love and we've come to love it as well:
"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." I'm finding that as time goes by, this is truer and truer. Be happy, be grateful, be CONTENT, you'll be much richer for it...and there's NOTHING unfair about that!
What I can't deal with is grown people continually lamenting about how unfair something is. We all have things in our lives that aren't particularly "fair" however, at some point you need to quit yer bitchin' as they say and DO something about it and if you chose to do nothing about whatever it is you think is so unfair, then shush your lips. Put up or shut up as they say :)
Here are a few things I've recently heard/seen/experienced people saying weren't "fair":
It's not fair that my spouse is working long hours, I never see them.
It's not fair that I have to be up all night with a new baby.
It's not fair that the neighbors have a new car and we make more money than them and don't have one.
It's not fair that I am not able to go on vacation when so-and-so was able to go.
Really people? REALLY? These things aren't fair? How about some examples of things that REALLY are not fair. It's not fair that 200 people were recently let go by our local Lowe's store with NO notice; it's not fair that a friend of mine is dealing with the reality of having a disabled son and has no real life support system to help her deal with it, it's not fair that some people have no vehicle at all and walk or bike everywhere like many people in our apartment complex do. It's not fair that young men and women are coming home in body bags because they're fighting overseas. It's not fair that small children are dying of cancer. Do you get my point?
There's a newish phrase to describe the pissing and moaning people do about trivial things; it's called "first world problems" and really, let's be realistic; if we're pissing and moaning that we can't get a NEW car or take a vacation, are we really THAT bad off? There are people right in your neighborhood who can't afford a SINGLE car let alone a new one, there are people in your neighborhood who would love a single DAY off of work but can't for fear of not having a job when they get back or losing that income.
To be fair, I'm guilty of complaining about stupid things too; I'm guilty of complaining that things aren't fair; in fact, one time I was complaining loudly to my mother about the fact that it's NOT FAIR that Gabe has a disability (and really, it's not...but bear with me here) My mom, who by the way is a cancer survivor, said "you know Chris, I used to feel that way about my cancer, I used to scream at God 'why me? why me? this isn't FAIR' and one day I just realized, 'why NOT me? SOMEONE has to make up the statistics' and yes, it sucks, but it's life and we deal with it. Yes it sucks that Gabe is disabled, however SOMEONE has to be that number and maybe you didn't plan it that way, but it is what it is and now you deal with it"
And that's kind of been my motto since that day. No it's not fair, but why NOT me? In all reality, our lives are GOOD. Even if we can't buy a second car right now; even if we can't go to the Dells for Labor Day, even if I do NOT see Geo much because of 60 hour work weeks. How can I, in good conscience, complain about these things when there are so many people who are so much worse off?
Geo's grandparents have a quote they shared with us that they love and we've come to love it as well:
"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." I'm finding that as time goes by, this is truer and truer. Be happy, be grateful, be CONTENT, you'll be much richer for it...and there's NOTHING unfair about that!
Friday Five: What Goes In
- What goes into your coffee or tea? (no coffee, gross!) sugar or honey and an ice cube or two
- What goes into a good omelet? Cheese and ham
- What goes into your ears on a good morning? Sarah McLachlan of course!
- What goes into a healthy but yummy lunch? chicken, lettuce, veggies, cheese, and a bit of salad dressing
- What goes into a productive evening? uh, hard work and hand grenades?!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thankful Thursday...two things
Today I'm especially thankful for two things; the first is the wisdom and perspective that comes with age and the second is my kiddos imaginations and senses of humor. I have two seriously imaginative and hilarious children and it makes my days (and nights) much more interesting and fun.
What are you thankful for today?
What are you thankful for today?
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
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