Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Flu Shot Chronicles

Today the kiddos had to get their flu shots; after our awful winter (which included a round of H1N1 thankyouverymuch) Geo and I decided that this year all four of us are getting them. We don't lie to the kids about getting shots; we don't necessarily tell them if they don't ask, but if they ask if they are getting a shot, we'll tell them if they are or not.

So Gabe and Bits saw "flu shots" on the calender; correction (!) Gabe saw it written on the calender and told Bits about it so they were in a tizzy over it today. We left one appointment to go to the ped's office for the flu shots and Gabe says "so hey, Mom, where are we going?" I looked at Geo and said "Uh, Gina's" (Gina is the first name of our pediatrician) He says "oh, okay" and continues to chat with Bits. As we got closer to the doctors' office he said "oh no. Gina is Dr. S*'s name! Oh no! FLU SHOTS BITSY!" and cue the screams and sobs.

(side note: how rough do OUR children have it, their parents have insurance and access to appropriate medical care and vaccinations. poor poor kids, their parents care about their health...ungrateful kids, I tell ya! ha ha)

So we got to the office and Gabe immediately asks how sharp the needle is going to be because he wants a soft needle and blah blah blah. I have a sick sense of humor and I said "well you're in luck, today they'll be giving shots with a rusty fish hook! no worries about the needle!" (side note number two: how mean am I? seriously? I'm mean)

We got back to the room after the children tried to bribe the nurse with pretty much anything they could think of so they did *not* have to get the shot and Bits hopped up on the table thinking Gabe was going to be first. Not so little miss, not so. I pulled her sweatshirt arm off and Geo stood in front of her. The nurse came toward her with the tiny needle (seriously a flu shot is TINY) and wiped her arm with an alcohol pad...and all hell broke loose. She started to scream (it was cold and startled her) and Gabe started to turn purple and scream "Get MEEEE OUT OF HEEEEEEREE" in the meantime, I'm trying to steady Bits so she can get the shot AND she kicked Geo right in the family jewels. He starts to double over, SarahAnne is sobbing, Gabe is screaming at the top of his lungs, the nurse is trying not to cry and I'm doing what? I'm laughing. Laughing like an idiot.

Geo stands up, says in a voice at LEAST two octaves higher than normal "okay Gabe, your turn" and Gabe proceeds to .... I honestly don't know what he was trying to do, climb out the window maybe? I grabbed him in a hug and said "alright, let's do this" The nurse came at him with the damn cold alcohol pad and he screamed (again, it scared him-why don't they warm them up?!) then gave him the shot and Gabe said "alright, fine just give me the darn shot" as he was getting a bandaid put on the shot spot. The nurse informed him that he was done and he stopped sniffling and said "wait, what? you're done? I thought you had a huge needle or something. Wow. That was no big deal"

The nurse let them choose four million stickers and then led us out into the waiting room where four parents and their terrified children sat waiting for THEIR flu shots. I'm so glad I could help their children be prepared for the flu shot this year...ha ha

*note-Gabriel did *not* attempt to climb out the window at any point during this five minute ordeal. Five minutes, seriously, five minutes was all this took from start to finish. Most melodramatic five minutes of my life, except for maybe last Friday when I did a melodramatic Adam Levine post, but we won't count that.

2 comments:

The Cynical Crafter said...

I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. How I love your attitude to this...you WILL have a shot and I don't care if you're screaming! Poor Gabe, though, could have done without that kick. :D

BIGCHIEFHOSSAHEAD said...

we had flu shots here at work earlier this week...and one person passed out when they saw the needle (no, it wasn't me, I had one at my doctors office 2 weeks ago...)

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