What day is it today? It surely cannot be a Monday because my day has been far too organized to be a Monday. Monday and I don't agree on many things, particularly that I would like to be organized and it would like to continue to be a lazy pain in the rear. Often Monday comes and tries to kick my butt with motivation and I have to sit down, crack open a diet coke and tell it to sit on a tack. Today has been an out of the ordinary day for me; I not only managed to a) have the kids backpacks completely organized b) have Gabe's lunch packed and c) have the kids to school on time, I also managed to make approximately 45893 phone calls, set some appointments, pay a bill, have my back adjusted, and do a little thrift store shopping (Monday's are 25% off everything day which I never remember but I did today! huzzah!) Surely all of this productivity will come back to bite me in the rear, but in the mean time, Monday, sit on a tack.
One of the appointments I made today was for Mr. Nibbler, who has become quite the surly little bastard lately. (Side note: When I visualize the words "surly bastard" I see a man with a beard and tattoos who scowls a lot...is it just me who sees that? It is? Oh...moving on then) Nibbler has decided that he needs to be the Alpha in our house so he sprayed my couch with urine, then because that didn't work because of the amazing Nature's Miracle orange scented oxy cleaner that shockingly worked, he sprayed a piece of cardboard. God love the little nitwit, he's not so bright and didn't realize I would just pick it up and throw it away. Can't blame a guy for trying I guess. Next week he's losing his hairballs and hopefully the surly bastard attitude as well. I mean seriously Nibbler, we LIKE you, we want to pet you and feed you treats and all you want to do is bite us...and you wonder why the dog tried to eat you...
Wait, did I forget to tell you about the incident last week with Betsy trying to eat Nibbler? Oh that one was fantastic. I was doing laundry, as I always am-I mean seriously people, would it kill you to wear something more than once or in the case of Bitsy, for more than five seconds?! I could hear Betsy's tags rattling so I turned around...just in time to see Nibbler's entire head in Betsy's mouth. I shouted "Betsy" and she let the cat go and the cat looked at me as if to say "holy crap, what was that?!" and Betsy gave me that innocent dog look, you know the one that says "who me? do something wrong? NOOOOOO not me" It was hilarious only because Nibbler was fine. It's almost like Betsy just opened her mouth and tried to swallow him-he wasn't even fighting her about it. The pets in this house are so so bizarre. They might be weirder than the kids actually.
I started this entry earlier today when I had a ton of ambition and wit about me...and then I got a headache and had to lay down. Thankfully a nap, Tylenol, and some diet coke seem to have gotten rid of it but wheweee. What a crappy interruption for my day! Now for some tv, some homework and sending the kiddos to bed!