Sunday, June 27, 2010

Marriage...

In one short month, Geo and I will have been married for nine years. Nine roller coaster riding years. We've had for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and have come out on top. Yes, we've had tough times; tougher than I'd ever wish on anyone, specifically when it comes to Gabriel and his exceptional needs, but we pulled together, as we always do, and have fought every single one of his battles together as we promised each other in front of God, friends, and family all those years ago.

One of my favorite songs is "Better Together" by Jack Johnson, a few years ago at a gorgeous wedding Geo and I went to, the bride and groom chose the song as their "theme" and it played during their wedding. My favorite lyric is:

"Yeah, so much better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's so much better when we're together
Yeah, so much better when we're together"


Geo and I truly do think things are better when we are together. We are a team, always have been, always will be, which is why it annoys me so much when people try to shove their way into our marriage and try to cause problems. Geo and I consult one another on 99.9% of our decisions ESPECIALLY ones that affect our family. Very rarely does one of us make a decision without consulting the other about what we're planning to do. Why bother being married if you aren't going to take advantage of the fact that the one person who has YOUR best interests at heart is right there; right there to help you with decisions?

My priorities are as such: Gabriel and SarahAnne, Geo, myself. If you were to ask Geo what HIS priorities are he'd say: Gabriel and SarahAnne, Chrissi, myself. Work, home, family, etc are below that. Some people don't like that Geo and I put each other above all others, including our own parents. It's interesting that when one is married in the church, as a general rule the verse "a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" is read.

I've always interpreted that verse as when you get married, your spouse becomes your number one priority and you become theirs. I think that a lot of young couples who go off and get married forget that while, yes, their parents are important, their spouse is their number one priority. Looking out for your partners well being and best interests now comes above ANY one else's well being or best interests. Some would even say (and while I don't agree with this sentiment, I don't really disagree with it either) that your spouse should come before your children as well-again, while I don't agree wholeheartedly, I don't necessarily disagree with this statement either.

I think it's hard when you're first starting out in a marriage to really make your spouse the top priority in your life; you've always had your parents and family and as a general rule, I think people have a hard time not caring for their families more than other people...but at some point you have to grow and mature and realize that your partner is now your family.

I wish more people realized that being happy and content in your marriage, that working toward common goals for your family, for trying to be the best partner you can be HAVE to be the priorities in a successful marriage. There is no way to "serve two Gods" so to speak; you can't try to make your partner's life the best it can be when you are trying to make your parents or siblings (or friends or work or whathaveyou) the best they can be. You cannot put others needs above your partners and expect that your marriage is going to be strong.

That being said, the kids are our priorities, we are one anothers priorities, and the rest, as they say, is in the details. I make no apologies and I offer no explanations (except the above lol) for why Geo and I make the decisions we make and why we back one another up when a decision is made. After all, isn't everything better when you're together?

1 comment:

Shay said...

Chrissi, this is a wonderful post! You make sooooo many good points here. I think a lot of young people really have no idea about marriage or the total commitment it requires when they're getting married.
I hope I can remember that verse about "leaving his father & mother" when I'm the parent of a child embarking on marriage - I'll probably need to post it on my fridge or something! :) I've seen so many people worry about everyone else and their problems and not about each other - it just tears their marriage apart.

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