Wednesday, May 25, 2011

In Which Momma Does Not Make New Friends

Yesterday was gloriously beautiful out, so Bitsy and I walked down to the local park to see if we could find some new friends and run off some energy. Things were going really well for a while; I talked to the momma of a little girl who came to play in the rocket ship dressed in a NASA suit only to find out that they were in the area visiting a friend and don't live near by-dang it. I figured anyone who would not only buy their kid an astronaut suit but had the sense of humor to LET their kid wear it to the park was probably the kind of lady I'd want to hang out with. Boo.

So we went over to the swings where there was one nanny (younger than my sister, not my demographic lol) and two very very very busy mommas. You know the type; all they talk about is how busy busy busy they are. They are so busy that they just never have time for themselves and yearn for the days when they'll be able to leisurely lounge at the park like the OTHER mothers they say sneeringly as they gaze in disgust at the mothers who dare sit down while their children are playing. (that would be me, whoops)

So we're at the swings and Bitsy is swinging happily. VERY happily. Screaming at the top of her lungs "HIGHER MOMMA HIGHER!" So, being the mom I am, I indulge her and push her higher. Higher than I've ever pushed her (do you see where this is going yet??) She's flying toward the moon and being the modern mother I am, I am texting while she swings....and all of the sudden she lets go of the swing on one side...and flies off. It was fantastic. I mean, absolutely, amazing. I watched it all in slow motion as I threw my phone and ran toward her screaming "ooooooohhhhhhhhhh ssssssshhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiittttttt" (that's oh shit for those who don't read in slow motion)

She flipped sideways and did an awesome somersault; she landed about ten feet from the swing set and was covered in mulch. I picked her up and brushed her off and she was fine; she just wanted to go back on the swing, but this time she promised to hold on. I said alright and set her back on the swing. The nanny of the girl next to me said "wow, that was crazy" and I agreed and then started to laugh because, seriously, it was hilarious and she wasn't hurt, plus I have a tendency to laugh in the face of things like this because I often react inappropriately, particularly when in public.

So now in addition to being that mom who isn't busy (lol ok) I am also the mother who swears, loudly, in front of children...and then, as if that wasn't enough, after swinging, Bits decided to walk over to the jungle gym and smacked headfirst into a bar. She staggered around as I ran to her and said to me "that's it, I'm leaving" as I started to giggle again. She had a humdinger of a headache and some scratches on her leg and arm as we left the park yesterday. I am not sure that we'll be going back again...unless it's midnight or pouring rain or something equally as obnoxious. I fully expect to find a picture of myself on a poster at the park that says "do not engage this woman, she swears in front of children and laughs inappropriately"


(Side note: after some motrin and some lunch (per the doctors' suggestion) , Bitsy was back to normal and rarin' to go back to the park...)

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