Thursday, February 4, 2010

Who is This Woman in the Mirror?

According to my darling boy, we have exactly 14 days-or 13 sleeps, depending on when you ask him, until he is 6. It's going to be an exciting day-school and then pizza and cake with friends-oh to be six again :)

Six...six...I've been a mom for six years. How in the world is this even possible? I mean, I know I'm a mom, the whole giving birth-nursing-never sleeping-changing diapers-teething-toddling-growing up quicker moments have me pegged squarely in the "mom" category.

But what else? How else do I know that I'm a mom? Let's start at the top and work our way down, shall we?

Hair: I have "mom" hair. It's currently in a ponytail because making cookies with your hair in your face is never a good thing. It's colored (lightly, I swear lol)to cover the grey hair that is showing up in alarming numbers these days. It's not super short a la Sarah McLachlan in the 90's nor is it long and sexy a la Sarah McLachlan today. It's mid length, it's dyed to cover the grey and it's currently in a pony tail. I would definitely say this is "mom" hair.

Face: My face hasn't seen more than two full applications of make up since having SarahAnne nearly three years ago. Why? Because if I put it on, I have to take it off. I cannot, like in my younger days, just hop into bed with make up on and wake up none the worse for wear. If I don't take the make up off, it ruins the pillow cases-and since they were kind of expensive, unlike those I had in college, and they MATCH our bedsheets-again, unlike those in college-I really do not want them covered in mascara, foundation, and blue eye shadow (side note: what in the HELL was I thinking wearing blue eye shadow??) There's a whole routine that goes along with getting my face ready for bed...wrinkles be damned, I'm not about to ruin the oils, lotions and potions, and 20 minute routine with make up. (side note number 2: this is a slight exaggeration, it does not take a ton of time nor product to get ready for bed unless, of course, I noticed that there's a new line on the side of my eyes or near my mouth...ha ha) Never mind that neither kid likes being kissed when mom is wearing lipstick and being poked repeatedly in the eye while being asked 'what's this blue stuff on your eyes mom?' is rather uncomfortable. Yeah, mom face.

Hands: Do we really have to go there? Alright, we will...short clipped nails-the better to do dishes, laundry, and finger painting with my dears :) I am fairly certain SarahAnne wears more nail polish than I do. Back in my pre mom days, you might have found a beer in my hand...not so now, living on the edge for me is a diet coke with a lime wedge...and more often than not, I'm just drinking water. Life on the edge my friends, life on the edge!

Body: Stretch marks. Need I say more? I mean, really, what else screams "MOM" like stretch marks? At least, though, they are interesting stretch marks. Once while teaching my very large, very stretch marked stomach made an (accidental) appearance in my class. I was then informed by a helpful child that I had a "Harry Potter" lightning bolt on my stomach. Great to know that "he who shall not be named" couldn't defeat my stomach either...

Shoes: I am NOT embarrassed to tell you all that I love my Crocs. That's right, I wear Crocs. Every single day, even when it's snowing. Geo tells me I should be ashamed of myself because they are CROCS but I find it very hard to be embarrassed when I'm comfortable no matter where I am. Now if only I could find dress Crocs, I'd never have to wear uncomfortable, tight shoes again. Yay Crocs! (what?)

And finally, the clothes, the mom clothes: Yoga pants (check) Old Navy T-shirt (check) Someone else's socks because all of mine are gone (check) Crocs (check check and CHECK)

And that's how I know I am a mom. I have the uniform, I have the attitude, I have the ponytail and the crocs...It's been a gradual revolution, but it seems to me that I can't even remember what I used to look like. I think I left the hospital in 2004 looking like this, which, really, if you think about it, probably isn't a good thing...but what to do about it? Perhaps, a la Rants from Mommyland I shall try a 30 day program to look more like Chrissi and less like Gabe and Bitsy's mom...yes, that's what we'll do. More shoe laces, less crocs (*cries*) more buttons, less yoga pants, and more hair brushing and less pony tails. It ought to be an I'm sure will be chronicled here in the Wit Family blog. First things first-I need to change the pillowcases...I'd really hate for them to be ruined by my blue eyeshadow :)

(and check out Rants From MommyLand to check out Lydia's progress..)

1 comment:

Kate said...

LOVE your blog and your stories...and, girl, you are DE-VOH-TED, to your kids, to your your footwear...*sigh*
I can't actually bring myself to type the word...let's just say "reptile-ish bipedal coverings" -- but know you have my FULL support should you venture a la Lydia into the Brave New Shoe World. And it must be some sign from the Gods of the Internet that this is a brilliant idea, because the word I have to type in for verification is "repent" ---
xoxoxo Kate


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