Hitting Close to Home

Most days I don't think about Gabe's disabilities; mostly I just think of him as Gabe. Gabe who is funny and caring and thoughtful; Gabe who screams when he's angry, cries over injustices whether real or perceived, Gabe who often needs a shower because eight year old boys are filthy and often need more soap and hot water than they think they do. Gabe is Gabe, I don't think about that disabled nonsense, ain't nobody got time for that (haha)

The last couple of days have been a bit rough on the disability front; Gabe is really struggling with math still and he's frustrated over his lack of physical strength and speed and I'm frustrated over scrubbing knees of pants and replacing knees in pants because he's falling on them and blah and blah and blah so on so forth, this sort of stuff sucks.

Today while on pinterest, I found an amazing blog post by a woman who was just entering the world of disability and I'm not going to lie, I was sobbing. I was full on sobbing those awful hiccuping gut wrenching ugly sobs that no one really wants to do let alone ADMIT to doing, but I did because it hit so incredibly close to home. She writes " I think I cried for seven hours straight. It was gut-wrenching pain. I held Nella and I kissed her but I literally writhed in emotional pain on that bed in the dark with our candles and my friends by my side until the sun came up. I remember trying to sleep and then feeling it come on again...and I'd start shaking" and goes on in other parts to talk about the absolute pain she was feeling; all of the sudden she was thrust into this whole new world; this whole complicated and sometimes awful and incredibly isolating and disappointed guilt inducing world of special needs parenting.

All of the sudden, reading those words, memories flooded back to me, things I thought I'd never remember; falling onto Geo outside of the hospital under the weight of my own grief, the silence of my ob as he looked at me teary eyed, the pats of the nurse on my arm as she told me things would work out, and of Geo, sweet sensitive George who was looking forward to being a daddy. The kind of daddy who wanted to play football and teach bowling and jump and run and play and rough house and get down and dirty with his first born, his SON. He's so quiet anyway and in those first days after the diagnosis he didn't say a whole lot or maybe he did but I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear him. I was so wrapped up in doctors and needles and appointments and grief and sobbing that I just couldn't do it; I literally could not handle another persons' needs at that moment. I remember laying in bed, pleading with every God and goddess I could think of, pleading with the universe to please let this be some sort of horrific dream that I'd wake up from. I remember thinking that this had to be my fault; that my body had failed me again.That this really meant I had no business being a mother.

Of course, those things are not true; I love being a mother, particularly Gabe's mother. He's such a fantastic kid, even on bad days, even on the days when he was in a cast and miserable or in those first uncertain days when he laid in his incubator and looked at me with those big soulful eyes of his. My body hadn't failed me; sometimes these things happen and in the case of Gabe's spina bifida, it WAS one of those unexplainable things; the best advice I got for dealing with it was from my wise OB who told me that I needed to stop beating myself up and stop looking for an answer because sometimes these things happen and no one can control it, but I could control how I took care of the situation.

It's hard to believe that nine years ago (almost to the day) I was a sobbing mess worried about the unknown...because really, the whole damn future is unknown. Here are the things I did know during that time: I loved Gabe, I loved Geo, and I knew our little family would be fine. Here are the things I know NOW: I love Gabe, I love Bitsy, I love Geo and I know our little family is going to be fine. The details are unknown but I just have to remind myself that I am not IN control of everything; that all I can do is be present in my life, make good choices, and have faith that things will work out in the end. My own words don't seem sufficient, so I'll rely on the blogger I quoted above to sum this whole thing up:

Life moves on. And there have been lots of tears since. There will be. But, there is us. Our Family. We will embrace this beauty and make something of it. We will hold our precious gift and know that we are lucky. I feel lucky. I feel privileged. I feel there is a story so beautiful in store...and we get to live it. Wow.


I encourage you to check out the whole blog she posted, though I am warning you-you will need tissues and a quiet place to read this...it's ugly tear inducing but the end is so beautiful and so real; and though I cried because it reminded me so much of those first days with Gabe's diagnosis and Gabe himself, I also smiled at the end because YES, we are lucky and YES we have a beautiful life in store...and here we are all these years later, living it out day after day...


http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html






(shameless plug, you can check my pinterest boards by clicking right here )

Thankful Thursday: It goes on

Today I am thankful that life goes on...

As the poet Robert Frost said: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life...it goes on"

Wordless Wednesday: A Holiday Laugh

TtTT: Holiday Spirit

Time for the weekly Tell the Truth Tuesday post...

My holiday spirit is pretty much non existent this season and I think I know why. Yesterday it was almost 70 degrees. SEVENTY! on December 3rd! In the Midwest! ARGH! Seventy degrees is far too warm to be putting up a Christmas tree or baking gingerbread, heck it's even too warm to watch Christmas movies which is one of my favorite things to do in December. Honestly I haven't even listened to a ton of Christmas music yet, which is something I gleefully do on the day after Thanksgiving every year JUST because I can.

This weather really needs to get its' act together. I'm not saying I need subzero temps or a blizzard, but 30 degrees and an inch of snow should would help...at least it wouldn't seem silly to drink hot chocolate if there was a chill in the air, right?!

I'm confused

This weekend was the annual Illinois Spina Bifida Association's Holiday party; we have been invited in years past but have never gone, mostly because of my own insecurities. You see, while Gabe has spina bifida and definitely has limitations because of it, he's very VERY high functioning. We'd only been to one or two functions in the last eight years and there's been a lot of just being uncomfortable; having the kid who can walk/run/jump/use the bathroom on their own makes us outcasts in our own "community", even if it's NOT intentional. I get it, though, I do. I used to be very jealous of those who had kids without ANY disability at all; I think it's human nature to want what you don't have or at the very least HOPE you could have what others have...even if as we all know, things aren't always what they seem for others.

So yesterday we went to the holiday party and it was a pleasant surprise; there were quite a few children (and adults!) with spina bifida who were walking...heck there were even some kids with spina bifida RUNNING and I felt ashamed that I'd kept Gabe away from HIS community of people for so long. In the last few months he's been especially curious about other kids "like him" and this was the perfect opportunity for him to get to see some of them and interact...except that once we got there, he wasn't interested in interacting; he just wanted to see Santa and play on Unc's iPhone 5 (haha)

At one point after we'd been there a while he asked if I'd take him to the bathroom. We walked through a crowd of people, nearly got ran over by the cutest little girl in a wheelchair and did some people watching. Gabe is a very old soul for those who don't know. He's always analyzing and thinking about things and his perspectives on things are very mature for an 8 year old. I look at him and just know that he's so much wiser than I'll ever be or could ever be. As we left the bathroom, he said "mom, I'm confused" I asked by what and he said "I don't know, I just feel confused. There are people here like me, some who have the tubes in their heads [shunt] and some in wheelchairs and some with braces and some with canes and wow, I just don't know, I'm confused" and I'm not going to lie, my heart broke for him. For some reason I think he felt like he'd feel some sort of connection with some of these people; I think he thought it was going to be an instant "oh my gosh YES! these are my people" type thing and when it didn't happen...well, it was confusing. It's hard, as an adult, to not fit into a certain situation or group that you think you will and as adults we deal with the disappointment and realize that it's a part of life and we find our own group to fit into...but children don't have that experience yet and I could see in his little face that he was disappointed and a bit sad.

Overall the experience was a positive one; Ms. Wheelchair Illinois gave an amazing inspirational speech to parents about continuing to be an advocate for your children; to make sure you're never giving up on them and doing right by them and striving to make sure their lives are the best they can be...she was gorgeous AND smart (a teacher actually!!) Santa gave the kiddos nice gifts even if they refused to go near him (ha ha) and the food and company was nice...but we probably won't go again. It just wasn't for us; more importantly, it wasn't for GABE and we both knew it. I suppose at some point I am just going to have to let go and let him forge his own way, aren't I?

Happy Anniversary!!!

We'd like to wish the Greats a very happy 61st wedding anniversary today...sixty one years-how amazing is that!??!? Here's to many more happy years together...and thank you for inspiring ALL of us with your love and dedication to one another and to marriage.

Thanksgiving Weekend in Pictures

Wordless Wednesday: Kiddos

Tell the Truth Tuesday: Thanksgiving Dinner

A lot of people dread cooking for Thanksgiving...but not me. I freaking love it! I love being in the kitchen for hours at a time, snipping and snapping at people, sweating, and being covered in glop and sauce and every thing you can imagine. I love basting the turkey and smelling its' delicious aroma, I love the cranberries popping, and the potatoes boiling. Why do I love these things? (and YES I do love them, for once in my life, I am *not* being facetious about it) because I love that all that chaos turns into a delicious dinner with family. I love that after all that work, I can sit down with a cold diet coke and a full plate in front of me and hear chomping and laughing and slurps. Afterward, when we're all done eating and Geo is in the kitchen picking at the turkey and someone is scraping the whipped cream bowl to get the last little bits I am able to sit back and relax knowing that all of my hard work has paid off and everyone is happy and full and content and that's the best part for me. Om nom nom, time to get into the kitchen and start my prep for Thursday! Happy turkey day everyone!!

Friday Five: Laundry

1. Washing machine: front-loader or top-loader?

Top loader-brand new too since my old one crapped out and flooded the laundry room twice in one week

     2. Detergent: liquid or powder?

 Either is fine as long as it's Gain 

    3. Rinse cycle: fabric softener or another additive?

Vinegar sometimes 

     4. clothesline or dryer?

When the weather cooperates, I prefer to put things on the line. 

    5. Do you fold things straight off the line or out of the dryer? Do you iron?

Nope and I absolutely HATE ironing. Things get hung up in our house anyway so folding isn't that big of a deal to any of us.

Thankful Thursday: A List

In no particular order, here's a list of things I am thankful for this morning:

Losing two pounds in two weeks.

The song "Locked Out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars; it's what I use on my phone as an alarm and it always makes me wake up wanting to dance.

The "buddies" (Sam and Cal, Gabe's stuffed dogs) Gabe doesn't like to snuggle anymore, but he'll gladly give up a buddy if you need a snuggle in the early morning like I did today.

The ice maker in my freezer; it makes drinking a gallon of water each day so much easier.

The teachers didn't go on strike in the kids' district.

All of our fur babies who, while four legged pains in the asses sometimes, keep us company.

Momma Sukey is out of the hospital and feeling better!!!! YAY!

What are you thankful for today??

Locked Out of Heaven

Wordless Wednesday: The White Stuff

Stop This Train

I wanna get off...

It's been such a long busy week; I managed to miss Thankful Thursday (I'm thankful for friends who are like family) and Friday Five (five things I am doing this weekend: cleaning, cooking, changing bedrooms around, laundry, crochet) and blah.

Our dear friend Sukey who is like a second momma to me, actually she's older than MY own momma, which isn't hard since even I am older than my mom at this point-she looks great for 29...haha-was admitted to the hospital on Thursday morning with very high blood sugars and ugh. I don't often get overly emotional, however on the phone with her son, listening to her husband (our very favorite sailor Jimmy) and her daughter crying, I kind of lost it in that ridiculous high pitched way that I hate. The whole day was just shot-I couldn't think of anything except how in the hell I'd deal without her being there and how could I get to Boston to be with them and UGH. I'm happy to say that she is doing better, however I believe I am still going to have go out there and lecture her on putting herself first...much like my own mother..and me..hmm I see a trend here.

Gabe started a new add medicine Friday and I've been conflicted about it...I didn't want to do it but at this point school work is becoming an issue, not because he doesn't know HOW to do it but because he is so inattentive that he CAN'T do it. The first day was really rough however today, day three, he seems to be adjusting to it fairly well, which puts my mind at ease. It was very hard hearing him tell me that the meds were making him very angry and it felt like his blood was battling itself and making him want to explode. *sigh* We talked about it yesterday and he said it doesn't feel that way anymore but his head still feels a little bit buzzy, which I suppose is to be expected anytime you take a drug that alters your brain chemistry. I wish this were easier.

Two weeks ago, at my insistence to the doctor that something was NOT right in my body, he tested my A1C levels and my blood sugar and lo and behold, I am diabetic-not badly, just enough that if I don't get it together I WILL eventually be on meds and all sorts of junk I don't want. I'm taking classes to help manage my diet and what not. I was diabetic both times I was pregnant (so it wasn't a huge surprise that my A1C was a little higher than it should be) so I know what I am supposed to do, it's just a matter of getting there. I'm okay until it comes to the evening; I am an evening muncher. I like to watch tv and snack. I'm working on doing things with my hands at night when I am watching tv so that the temptation isn't there. Last night I crocheted a Christmas stocking for SuperBaby, tonight I am going to work on a baby hat and matching stocking for a friends' grandson...guess everyone should expect handmade gifts this year...and maybe in the process my fasting blood sugars will go down haha.

Finally, today is Veteran's Day and I'm so thankful for the Vets in our lives (G da G, Great Grandpa Harvey, my grandmother and grandfathers, my father, my uncle, Geo's sister and brother in law, my cousin's husband, our friend Tommy, our favorite Sailor Jimmy (who wasn't a sailor, but that's beside the point), Jimmy's son Nelson, and so on and so on...we're so lucky to have so many people who were willing to sacrifice their own lives and safety for those of us who were/are unable to...we're also thankful for those we don't know by name, but who fought for us regardless. If you see a vet today, thank him or her---and give thanks that all of these people were so willing to sacrifice for US and our country.

Let's hope next week is a better week for all of us...it'll start today when the kids and I go to the animal fest at the fairgrounds-lots of dogs and cats and other furry creatures to snuggle with...can't go wrong with that :D

Wordless Wednesday: Victory

Love, charity, duty, patriotism...

Tell the Truth Tuesday: I'm sick of politics

I love love LOVE politics; I love debating and discussing and getting to the nitty gritty of things in this country; however, this year, I am totally and utterly burnt out by it. I am so glad that the election will be over today and we won't have to deal with it for another four years. I've found that this year by far, people have been more hateful than I can ever remember. I've actually lost friends over opposing political views, not because I disagree with them but because they are so hateful when someone disagrees with them that I couldn't take it anymore. You don't have to be nasty to prove your point and if you DO then maybe you ought to reconsider your beliefs. So today, I urge you to get out there and vote-it's your responsibility, your obligation, your PRIVILEGE but don't forget that people are still people, even if you disagree with them so keep your words in check...

Just Another Manic Monday

Is it just me or did Monday come reallllly quickly this week? This was the first weekend Hh has had off in three weeks and the first weekend in about two months where we were all feeling healthy and the weather cooperated so we could actually get out of the house. I know a lot of guys would be pretty put off if their wife gave them a honey do list on their only weekend off in weeks, but Hh is a stand up guy, so he wasn't too cross with me :) The yard now looks fantastic...well for the most part; the neighbor's giant tree dumped a ton of leaves last night and they ended up in our yard, but other than that, things look great. We caught up on the laundry, we watched some tv, we took the kids bowling, we went out to lunch with some friends and we both got some much needed sleep. All in all, it was a pretty darn good weekend...but it ended too quickly. Oh well, such is life, Geo's back to work now until the day before Thanksgiving and then he'll have a nice long weekend to spend with us...of course we'll be busy but at least we'll be together :)

This week is looking fairly quiet unless of course, our teachers end up on strike as it looks like they will be, then we'll have the kiddos home with us for a while but that's ok, they can help me plan Thanksgiving dinner (lucky them!! haha)

A Guest Post From Our Favorite 8 year old

hi this is Gabe Witkowski  Homeless people need scarfs hats gloves and jackets and food
I want to help them. I am going to collect these things for Lazarus house.It  is for  homeless people even
for kids.I feel bad about the homeless people .If you want to help me  you can send  me these things. If you
cant send me these things, maybe you can send a gift card to me  so i can buy what you want to have
to donate to them.  

thank you
 from Gabe

This is Chrissi; Gabe was so excited to be able to blog this today...he's really excited about helping some families at the Lazarus House in the next town over; we've donated to them before but this is the first time the kiddos have really wanted to get involved. We've been talking a lot about giving to others and helping and for the past few days both kids have expressed an interest in helping others. Gabriel's first idea was to have a popcorn stand...however, he wanted to charge $10 for a box of popcorn and $5 for lemonade...not quite what most people can afford for a snack :) Please note that if you'd like to help with winter stuff, it does NOT have to be new, it just has to be in good shape AND you don't have to help at all, you can just smile and thank God that kids like Gabe and Bits exist still. As far as gift cards; we have a friend who works at Meijer and has said she'll take them there and use her discount card so they can get a few more things than they could somewhere else-Gabe is planning on sending notes to Meijer, Walmart, and Target this week to see if they'd like to help him out as well-I'm hoping they will. Can I just say that we are so proud of these kids? I know we are biased because everyone thinks their kids are the best BUT these guys are so loving, generous and kind...makes our hearts feel good when they want to help others, especially other children. :) 

Friday Five: Five Things to Know Right Now

Five random things to know right now:

1. Yoplait key lime Greek yogurt is AMAZING. 100 calories and only 10 carbs-it's my new go to snack when I am craving something sweet.

2. Today Gabe had to go to school early to practice for his news anchoring debut on the channel ten news at school. His anchor name is "Gumball Gabe" and he'll be reviewing a "Big Nate" book and discussing hurricane Sandy.

3. Bits is currently obsessed with footed pajamas. This has proven to be a bit of a pain in the butt as she is very tall and they don't make clothes that fit her proportionally. Nevertheless, she is in her footed pajamas from the time she gets home from school until she has to GO to school the following day.

4. The election is days away and you reaaaaaaallllllly need to go vote; I'd, of course, prefer that you vote for the blue party HOWEVER I just want you to go out and vote.

5. FINALLY! HH is off this weekend and none of us are sick and the weather is supposed to be decent so we'll be doing yard work, taking a hike or two, and catching up on some netflix.

Have a great weekend all!!

Thankful Thursday: Rituals

Today is Thankful Thursday and it's the first in November, which apparently means you're supposed to post one thing you are thankful for every day of the month; however since I do that on a regular basis, I won't be taking part BUT you'll still get a Thankful Thursday post once a week...

Today is the beginning of a three day festival/ritual called Dia de los Muertos. (Day of the Dead) It's a fantastic ritual that many people in Mexico participate in and has made itself kind of popular here in the states as well (mostly because sugar skulls are so damn cool I think, but I digress) Dia de los Muertos is basically about remembering those who've gone before us. The belief is that there are three deaths; the body dies, the spirit dies, and finally your memory dies.

Death is so taboo still; people don't like to think or talk about it but quite frankly it's inevitable; you are born to die, you start dying from the moment you are born-which of course is a depressing thought I suppose BUT that's just how it is. I'm not particularly religious (in case you hadn't noticed haha) but I'm pretty spiritual and I also believe that people have a soul. Everything in the solar system-the universe-has energy. That energy has to go somewhere when you die; it doesn't cease to exist, it just goes elsewhere. I like to think that souls stick around for a while to make sure the survivors are coping and then they break up and go into various places and people; it's hard to deny that theory when you look at children who have personality traits of long deceased relatives and so on. A part of my grandmother, I am positive, is within SarahAnne's personality. Sometimes she says things or looks at me in such a way that I am shocked that it's my five year old child in front of me, not my grandmother and Gabriel is so much like Joey in such silly little ways that I almost wonder if Joey is playing tricks on us through him.

Today I stopped at the cemetery as is my usual trip on Dia de los Muertos and saw Joey. I found a flower at a local shop that reminded me of him, left him some dimes, and cleaned up around his headstone. I thought about him a bit and thought to myself that he'd just adore all these nieces and nephews of his and thought that finally it seems to be getting a little easier without him, but some days are worse than others.

I feel calm and peaceful now; it's little rituals like this that soothe my soul when it's weary; I'm so thankful that we as human beings have coping mechanisms (for lack of a better word) in rituals that help smooth the rough edges off of things. I hope that today, regardless of what you believe or don't believe, you'll take a moment and think about someone who has passed on ensuring that their memory lives on even while they do not.

So Big

SarahAnne has been in kindergarten for approximately two months now and she's becoming quite the pro at all things kinder related. Today for the first time all year, she got on the bus without looking back AND sat down in her seat without waving and blowing me four hundred kisses as she usually does. I'm not going to lie, that stings a little bit. I know she's getting bigger but...no kisses from the window? *sigh*

Bits has always been a shy little thing; cautious, reserved, not one to rush into anything or any situation she wasn't sure of. Kinder has been a massive boost for her in that regard. She speaks to other kids now without her big bruhby having to introduce her, she has a lot of equally as girly as her friends, and has started speaking up when in groups.

For a long time, all she's wanted to do is read. Read read read read read! Momma why can't I read? Why does Gabe get to read and I don't? Guess what??? She is reading! She has a list of about fifty sight words that grows every single day. She sat down and read me 90% of a beginning readers book the other day after insisting she couldn't read anything. A few weeks ago as she and I sat together she started reading words from a book and suddenly looked at me and asked "Mom, why do I know these words?" I said "because you are reading honey!" All of the sudden it seemed to hit her that, oh yeah, she COULD read and it's been non stop from there. Nothing warms my heart more than Gabe and Bits sitting side by side with their noses in books; when Bits gets stuck on a word, Gabe will lean over and look at it quickly and tell her what the word is and go right back to his reading. It's fantastic; actually, scratch that, it's MORE than fantastic. There isn't a word to describe it.

But...despite all of these leaps and bounds, I still can't believe there were no kisses after getting on the bus today..

Welcome to Our Zoo

Because our life isn't nearly insane enough, for my birthday HH gave me a kitten. For those keeping track at home, we now have two children, a dog, and three cats. The dog thinks she's a cat, the eldest cat thinks he's an old man, the middle cat thinks he is a dog, and the little cat is quite frankly, crabby as all get out. It really keeps us on our toes having all these furry creatures running around the house. At any given moment you can find a cat on a bed, a dog on a pillow, and a child draped on one of the animals. I'm so glad we have so many furry friends, some might think it's a little bit crazy but not us; I'm just thankful (ha) we don't have a larger house or we'd be in big trouble...now to break Bitsy's habit of begging for every animal we see at the pet store. This week it was a guinea pig, a few weeks back it was a bird, and the words "bunny" "fish" and "monkeys" have popped up in conversation as well :)

Please Stay Tuned

Stay tuned for brand new blog posts in the next few hours, days etc etc etc! We are FINALLY back up online and I shall be blogging regularly again :) To our East Coast friends and family, please stay safe, dry and warm-we're thinking of you!! Love to you all, oldy moldies, new people, the whole bit...back soon!

Oh my dog!

Our dog is a certified pain in the keister; she sheds all over, drools, chases anything she can, barks at nothing and tore a hole in the couch.

Last night Bits fell off the top bunk of her bed in her sleep. I took her to the emergency room because she was in so much pain. Turns out she's fine, going to be sore for a few days and have a bruise but overall no big deal.

We came home and she wanted to have a "sleepover" in the living room. As soon as she laid down Betsy (our dog) laid with her. The pictures below illustrate why we love this pain in the rear dog and are glad she's a part of this family.

Last Summer Weekend

And we spent it downtown at the 54th annual air and water show. It was fantastic even if I did end up with a completely sunburnt face :)

A Day at the Airshow

Gabe and Grandpa are in their glory today :)

Bitsy

By day, Bits is a fireball; constantly in motion, always talking-being theatrical. Luring neighbors pets from their houses, charming the mailman, driving Gabriel insane, and testing my patience. She goes a hundred miles a minute only pausing to eat or drink once in a while. From the moment she gets up til we finally convince her to go to bed she's a wild child...

But oh when she's sleeping...what a difference. Blond hair all over, long legs stuck out from the sheet ending with dirty feet despite a good scrubbing before bedtime, a relaxed face, a gentle snore and peace and quiet at last. Even Boni cat who steers clear of her during her waking hours wants to be near her when she sleeps. Being near her as she sleeps is soothing, more often than not if she falls asleep near you, you fall asleep as well. Peace and quiet, a little rest when she's weary, a recharging of the batteries if you will. My wild child's not so wild now...

Oh Bitsy

Bits has a bad habit of trying to bring home other people's cats. She nearly succeeded recently but the cats owner happened to see her cat happily trotting behind our little pied piper.

She is now on a "I need a kitten" kick since Bam is no longer small enough to be carted around like a doll. Recently she wrote a letter to Geo; a picture follows but this is what it "said": dear daddy I love you do much and I love cats and can I please have a kitten I promise I will take care of him. I love you from bitsy.

She breathlessly read this note to Geo and the damn softie hesitated before saying no! This is bad because now she is realizing what a pushover daddy can be...what's next, a pet monkey??

The power of a smell

Growing up, my grandparents had a farm. I spent quite a bit of time there in the summertime, chasing chickens, petting the pigs, and the most fun thing of all, following the barn cats around the hay loft. There were always tons of the buggers running around which was fun for all of us to play with. Sure we got scratched and were filthy when we were done at the end of the day but it was summer time and no one cared.

Today the kids and I went to our favorite 1890's farm and pet the animals, traipsed thru the fields and even chased barn cats (I succeeded in catching one too haha) we went into the hay loft and suddenly I felt like I was ten again with skinned knees, hay in my hair, and filthy nails. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and was immediately transported to my grandparents barn. If I listened hard enough I could almost here my grandmother talking to her animals. It was heavenly.

It was short lived though, because bits yelled "hey mom! Open your eyes" and Gabe muttered "yeah do you wanna run into something??" and back to reality I came. It was nice while it lasted though : D

A day at the park

Despite the heat the kiddos and I went to the park and took a hike thru the woods today. We'll all sleep well tonite!

The Sentimental Kind

I am not particularly sentimental when it comes to Gabe and Bits; I don't cry on their birthdays, I've never wished for them to stay little forever, and summer vacation lasts about three weeks too long for me. Don't get me wrong, I adore them both-they are amazing human beings and I am continually in awe that Geo and I made such cool little people, but I love that they are growing and becoming independent. That being said though, I am a little weirded out by Gabe going into the third grade in two weeks and six days (counting the days noooo not me haha) The reason I am weirded out is because I vividly remember the third grade. I had an awesome teacher-a male teacher which was really odd when I was a kid-and it was just a great year all around. Gabe is hoping he gets the one male teacher who teaches third grade and is so looking forward to the whole experience...after all he's half way to middle school now! That in and of itself is far too weird to even think about...because after middle school comes driving and girls and college tours and an empty bedroom which I am not quite ready for yet :)

A Childs' Logic

Earlier this week I had an awful migraine; it was so bad in fact that I lost the vision in my left eye temporarily and ended up in the emergency room (I am fine now, lots of heavy duty drugs and lots of rest did wonders) As we were sitting on the car waiting for hh to drive me to the hospital, Bits said to me "ooooh mom I really hope you are blind in your eye" I told her not to say something so awful and she said,"but momma, if you got blind you could get a helper dog! They even write stuff for you" At that point I just had to laugh because of course that's how she'd look at it. Since getting Betsy, she has been trying to convince us to get another dog, because we have two cats, so why not two dogs??? Crazy girl

Pictures pictures and more pictures!